Date Rape Prevention
According
to ACADV (Alabama
Coalition Against Domestic Violence) 38 percent of
date rape victims are girls between the ages of 14 to 17. Their website reports, “More than half [the] young women raped (68 percent) knew
their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.”
It is
difficult to ignore the magnitude of these statistics. And yet, women and young
women in our culture are apt to say, “it won’t happen to me” and parents say,
“it won’t happen to my child.” This mentality creates a bubble of ignorance and
denial about these topics.
One
proactive approach to prevention is having a plan for dating safety, whether
for yourself or for your children. The Domestic Violence Advocacy Program of
Family Resources, Inc. offers these preventative measures so that young women
are not put in a situation which will make them feel unsafe.
Dating
Safety
- Consider double-dating the first few times you go out with a new person.
- Before leaving on a date, know the exact plans for the evening and make sure a parent or friend knows these plans and what time to expect you home. Let your date know that you are expected to call or tell that person when you get in.
- Be aware of your decreased ability to react under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- If you leave a party with someone you do not know well, make sure you tell another person you are leaving and with whom. Ask a friend to call and make sure you arrived home safely.
- Assert yourself when necessary. Be firm and straightforward in your relationships.
- Trust your instincts. If a situation makes you uncomfortable, try to be calm and think of a way to remove yourself from the situation.
Other tips anonymous women have provided when dating someone for the first time:
Please thank author Jim C. Hines for providing the majority of these links. This is a list in progress. Feel free to make suggestions of other websites.
- Meet somewhere well-lit in public. Having dinner at a restaurant with other people around is safer than going someplace alone with him like his house or even hiking in the woods in the evening.
- Meet somewhere familiar. Perhaps it is a coffee shop that you frequent where the wait staff knows you by face or name.
- Select a location with multiple exits.
- Never get in a car with someone you don't know.
- Don't leave your drink unattended at a party, bar or restaurant.
Please thank author Jim C. Hines for providing the majority of these links. This is a list in progress. Feel free to make suggestions of other websites.
- Bad Guys Among us Difficult to Identify - examining stereotypes about abusers and batterers. Published 7/8/04.
- Reprinted in Voice Male. Winter, 2005.
- Sex Crimes Can’t be Blamed on Victims - about a Orange County gang rape trial. Published 7/27/04.
- Sexual Assault More Common Earlier in Semester. Published 8/30/04.
- Be Sure - examining consent and a statement by Kobe Bryant. Published 9/14/04.
- False Reports. Published 10/4/04.
- Why Doesn’t She Leave? Published 11/4/04.
- MSU Needs to Reexamine Attitudes Toward Sex. Published 12/6/04.
- End to Rape Lies Within Prevention, not Self-Defense. Published 1/24/05.
- State Sex Offender Database Can Be Useful. Published 2/15/05.
Blog posts - Use the rape tag to find related posts.
- Thoughts on Men and Rape. The huge problems with treating rape as a “women’s issue.” 4/21/08.
- Sleeping Beauties. Because asleep does not equal consent, dammit! 4/1/09.
- Writing About Rape. Because so many published authors write about rape, and do it so badly. 4/7/09.
- Significant Others. How rape affects both the survivor and those around her/him, and what I’ve learned from being in the S.O. role. 4/22/09.
- Victim Blaming. Responding to an incident in which the Stamford Marriott blamed a rape victim for her own attack, claiming she “failed to exercise due care for her own safety and the safety of her children and proper use of her senses and facilities.” 8/14/09.
- Rape in Fandom. Discussing rape at conventions and other SF/F circles, and the need to speak out. 2/26/10.
- Steubenville, Ohio rape December 2012 http://www.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/sports/high-school-football-rape-case-unfolds-online-and-divides-steubenville-ohio.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
- New Delhi rape exposes the peril of being a woman in. India rape on the rise: http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/21/world/asia/india-rape-danger/index.html 1/3/13
Other Resources:
- If You’ve Been Raped - A 12-page brochure from the DC Rape Crisis Center. The resources are local, but there’s some pretty good information in there about your safety, your reactions, and the choice whether to press charges.
- Sexual Victimization of College Women - A study from the U.S. Dept. of Justice. I referred to this one a lot when working at Michigan State.
- The Rape of Mr. Smith - Highlighting some of the ways rape trials often turn into attacks on the victim.
- Men Can Stop Rape - Men working to end sexual violence.
- If Someone You Love was Raped - Advice from RAINN on how to help.
- Rape Brochures - Seven pamphlets I put together while working for The Listening Ear in East Lansing, talking about myths & facts, teaching children about rape, and more.
- Dating Bill of Right http://www.inspire-hope.org/the-teens-dating-bill-of-rights/
- http://dearauthor.com/
features/letters-of-opinion/ why-is-there-so-much-slut- shaming-in-novels-written-by- women/ - Slut Shaming: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/slut-shaming
